Hey Brides--Is Wedding Planning Driving You Crazy? When Meg Keene Got Engaged, She Found Herself Sobbing Over 'Overpriced Wedding Everything' Until She Started Focusing On What Really Mattered To Her

In her new book, "A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning A Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration" she shares her thoughts on how brides can create a joyful wedding with their soul and sanity intact.

Meg Keene, author of "A Practical Wedding" talks with Commitmentnow.com about how to reduce wedding stress, deal with conflicts among relatives, and create a truly meaningful wedding that reflects your true values and vision for the wedding day.

Commitmentnow.com: What motivated you to write this book? What information do you think this book can offer brides they may not find in other books?

Meg Keene: When I got engaged in 2008, there was very little information in wedding media for those of us who were focused on creating weddings that reflected our values, instead of weddings that simply cost a lot of money.

After coming home sobbing (again) over overpriced wedding everything, my partner suggested I start a blog and call it A Practical Wedding. After four years of running the thriving website and community that is APW, I'm thrilled to have written a book that walks couples through having a wedding while staying sane and solvent, and focusing on how your wedding will feel, instead of how it will look.

Commitmentnow.com: Why is wedding planning so stressful? What are some ways a bride can have the wedding she wants while ‘keeping her soul and sanity in tact” 

Meg: In many ways, wedding planning is always going to be difficult. The engagement period is a major life transition, where you're in the process of forming a brand new family unit. And as wonderful as that is, the period is always going to be somewhat painful. When you throw in the massive logistical issues of wedding planning, and big issues like money, faith, and family to the surface, you should expect a few tears. That said, knowing that it's normal to be struggling with difficult emotions, and having someone encouraging you to trust yourself, really helps.

This book strives to be a sassy best girlfriend, and let you know that you're doing just fine (and that getting married is totally worth it).

Commitmentnow.com: What advice do you have for brides-to-be who are just starting to plan their wedding?

Meg: First, sit down and talk to your partner. You're not in this on your own. Figure out what your wedding mission statement is. What is your ultimate goal for the day? What are your shared values and dreams? (I'm betting it's not an ice sculpture.) How do you want your wedding to feel? Who must be there? What are you comfortable spending? Before you dive into What Everyone Else Thinks and What Must Be Done, figure out what you both need emotionally, and let that guide your wedding planning.

Commitmentnow.com: You write that the first subject in wedding planning should be joy. What can a bride do to create a wedding where she will feel joyful?

Meg: Creating joy can be as simple (and as complicated) as listening to yourself. The wedding industry is fueled by the idea of regret. It sells you on the idea that, if you don't buy every single thing that's on offer, you'll regret it. News flash: you're not going to regret listening to what's right for you. So tune out the noise, and tune into yourself.

And also? On your wedding day, hand all of the plans to someone else. You have to stop planning the wedding to experience it.

Commitmentnow.com: What, in your opinion, are the biggest mistakes brides make in planning their wedding that can be avoided? 

Meg: You know all those people who tell you that weddings have to be: expensive, white, fancy, in a hotel, handcrafted, pretty, the biggest day of your life, and anything else? Yeah, they're wrong. So stop listening to them. That's my first, and best advice.

Your wedding doesn't have to be anything other than what you need to be, and graciously claiming that doesn't make you crazy or mean. So stop listening to all that nonsense. The second you do, wedding planning is going to get better.

Commitmentnow.com: What traditions do you feel brides should consider dropping in favor of creating a wedding they truly believe in?

Meg: The trick with traditions is to embrace things that are meaningful to you or to your family members, and to let the rest go. If you don't want a garter toss? Trust me, no one is even going to miss it.

Commitmentnow.com: What did planning your own wedding teach you about what really matters in a wedding?

Meg: In the end, planning a wedding taught me I was right all along. The vows mattered. My husband mattered. My family mattered. I didn't have make decisions that made me financially uncomfortable. I'm glad I trusted my gut. Planning a wedding taught me to trust myself. That matters in a wedding, and that's going to matter in the rest of my life too.

Commitmentnow.com: Tell us about your wedding. What special creative touches reflected who you really are--and what moments are you the most proud of and made you the happiest?

Meg: For us, it was all about the ceremony, and the crazy dance party. Yes, I ended up nabbing a vintage tea-length white dress that felt like me at my sassiest. Yes, we built a lovely huppah together. But at the end of the day what really mattered is all the love that surrounded us as we said our vows, and dancing like a mad person with my brand new husband to our iPod dance party playlist.

Commitmentnow.com: What tips do you have for negotiating with family on issues that can cause discord?

Meg: Here is the tough part: wedding planning is about listening to your family, in a way that really respects their concerns. But it's also the first step to building your new family, so you're going to have to learn to tell your mom (and your mother-in-law, and your nosey cousins) no. I know. I'm sorry. The best I can tell you is that it gets easier with practice, and you have to start practicing now. Be gracious, but firm.

Commitmentnow.com: Can you share with us your best five tips for those who want to do a DIY wedding?

1. DIY Won't save the world. Figure out if it's going to be easier and cheaper to buy something. If it is, stop worrying about DIY already.

2. DIY things you love, not things you want to save money on. If you love flowers, you're going to enjoy doing them yourself. If you really don't care about flowers, pay someone to make the problem go away.

3. Understand the difference between how real DIY projects look, and how perfect made-by-professionals DIY projects look. Your crafts may look a little lopsided and homemade. That's the point, and it's lovely. If that's not your style, step away from the glue gun. 

4. The week before the wedding, cross five things off your list. They're not going to get done and it doesn't matter. Now go get some sleep.

5. Let it go. DIY projects often are imperfect or unfinished. That's part of their charm. By the time your wedding rolls around, it's time to let all that go.

Commitmentnow.com: Finally, how can a bride embrace the 'imperfect' moments in her wedding and stay present during the whole event?

Meg: When you show up on your wedding day, you have to do just that. Show up. Show up in a fully emotional present way, and resolve to experience the day as it comes at you. It's not going to be perfect, and it may not feel like you expect it to feel. That may be a blessing.

To Purchase 'A Practical Wedding' click here.

 About the Author: Meg Keene is the creator of APracticalWedding.com, a wedding-planning website for independent-minded brides. Her blog has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, CNN.com, Glamour, Chicago Tribune, Feministing.com and more. She lives with her husband in San Francisco.