Disciplining Stepchildren
by Izzy Rose

Izzy Rose###The Package Deal		How do you discipline your husband's children?
		Whether you live with them, or see them only on the weekends, there will be times when your husband's children will need disciplining and he will not always been around (or willing) to do it.  How do you handle these situations?  Do your stepchildren respect you and listen to your requests?  Or does their resentment empower them to disrespect you?  How does your husband react when his children misbehave?  Name:  Email:

The questions I get most often from stepmothers are over the issue of discipline. How involved can I be? Do I get a say? Should I just stay out of it?

When my husband, his two sons and I moved in together, I made it pretty clear that I was going to be more than the new lady down the hall-- I had expectations and I’d be establishing some rules. I, rightly or wrongly, felt it was absolutely appropriate to play a role in setting standards for the household. I remember thinking, I live here. I’m an adult. Why wouldn’t I have a say? My husband and I posted THE HOUSE RULES on the fridge before the boxes were unpacked. (Rule #9: Do your own dishes. The sink is not your personal dumping ground.) Well, many stepparenting books will tell you this is a big no-no. “Leave it to their father,” they say. “Stick to the sidelines.” And feel like a doormat in my own house? I’m very grateful I married a man who wanted a partner, and this goes for disciplining his kids, too. We parent together, although he’s the main law enforcer and I’m more of an advisor. The kids understand we’re a team and, for the most part, they don’t try to split dad and stepmom. Is there always peace and order HA! No, but our house is solid and still standing.

IZZY ROSE is an Emmy award-winning television producer from the San Francisco Bay Area and the best-selling author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom. She’s the creator of stepmothersmilk.com, a blog and resource site for the modern-day stepmom with national and international readership. She’s appeared countless times on television and radio programs in San Francisco, Austin and Memphis and is a regular contributor to Stepmom Magazine. Her work has been called “compulsively readable,” “laugh out loud,” “heartfelt,” and “ultimately reassuring.” When she’s not writing about stepparenting, she’s busy with ghost writing projects. Her most recent project, Spirited: Connect to the Guides Around You, the book she wrote with Rebecca Rosen, published by Harper Collins, releases in February 2010.

To purchase The Package Deal:  My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom, click here.

Visit Izzy's website www.izzy-rose.com  and her blog www.stepmothersmilk.com. Follow her on Twitter, www.twitter.com/stepmothersmilk.