A New Mom is Tired, Lonely and Seeking Advice
Claudine Wolk, author of "It Gets Easier!...And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers" has tips for new Moms embarking on "the hardest, most important job in the world."
Dear Claudine,
Being a new Mom is wonderful in many ways, but a lot lonelier and more
tiring than I ever imagined. How do I deal with the constant fatigue I
feel, the constant workload, and the loneliness that threatens to
engulf me each day?
Signed: New Mom
Dear New Mom,
You are not alone. All new moms feel the emotional and physical reaction your are feeling right now.
Here are some ways that you can start to feel a bit better:
The first step toward finding some help is for you to take a minute to recognize the tremendous job you are doing. One of the reasons moms can feel so alone is the attitude out there that being a new mom is such a lucky position to be in that it is also easy. Not true. You are now embarking on the hardest, most important job in the world.
Take a minute to congratulate yourself on the job you are doing and value yourself and your hard work.
The second step is to get some help. Everyone needs help to do their job well. Most everyone has a staff or co-workers to share the burden of their jobs. Moms need a staff too! Everyone knows that a happy mom makes for a happy family. Ok, so how do you get the help you need?
1. Consider hiring a cleaning person for the first few months after the baby is born to come once a week. I know some folks worry about the cost of this service. I tell new moms to cut back on the grocery bills and eat eggs three times a week in order to do it. This is a critical time for you and your family. You cannot be worried about cleaning right now. You need to focus on learning how to take care of your baby and yourself. The cost of hiring some help will pay off in less stress for the family.
2. Escape once in a while. Find a caregiver you can trust (see point three) and escape. Take an hour here and there to go to the library or the gym or the grocery store just to be alone. You need time away to refresh the batteries.
3. Find a sitter by asking friends, neighbors, relatives, college students, and nieces. If these options don’t work for you, work through your church. Most churches provide this kind of support for new moms. Break in new sitters by staying in the house with them while they sit the first few times so you are comfortable leaving them. Ask around at work, in the neighborhood, at church, and at playgroups to find a good sitter with recommendations.
4. Join the world through a play group, a Mom’s club, a Mommy & Me, or a YMCA group. Finding other moms to share with and talk to has been the savior for many a new mom across the country. To find a mom’s club near you simply search on Google “Moms Club: Enter Your Town.”
5. Talk to a friend or parent every day. I used to check in with my mom every morning for five minutes. I would tell her how my night went with the baby. She was always encouraging. This daily conversation kept me motivated and plugged in. There are many Mom’s groups online as well. My two favorites are Cafemom.com and Justmommies.com.
Remember that finding and using the help that you need is not only helping you, it’s helping your entire family. It’s well-deserved, and you are setting a very good example for your spouse, your children, and other mothers as well.
To purchase "It Gets Easier! And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers" click here.
About the Author: Claudine Wolk is a mother of three, a mom-blogger, a speaker, and the author of It Gets Easier! And Other Lies We Tell New Mothers. She lives in Bucks County, PA with her children and her husband, Joe. You can find her at her website: www.Help4NewMoms.com.
Follow on Twitter: @Help4NewMoms
www.Help4Newmoms.blogspot.com
www.hybridmom.com/blog
