Soap Opera Star Tina Sloan Discusses How Changing Shoes Helps a Woman Age Gracefully!

In her new book, Changing Shoes: Getting Older - Not Old, With Style, Humor And Grace, Tina Sloan (Nurse Lillian Raines of Guiding Light) reveals how to stay "Forever Frisky" and what a good pair of shoes can do for a woman's self-image!

Tina Sloan's book, Changing Shoes: Getting Older - Not Old - with Style, Humor and Grace, is about staying in the game as you go through life. Diminishment and fading away are turned upside down with funny stories, including some from the 26 years she spent playing Nurse Lillian Raines on the popular soap opera, Guiding Light.  Changing Shoes adds levity to the time of life when one can feel overlooked. Tina shows how to stay forever frisky in all areas of life —laughing and admitting her foibles as she goes.

CommitmentNow.com:  In Changing Shoes:  Getting Older – Not Old – with Style, Humor and Grace, your impart wisdom and advice to which all women can relate – especially on issues women facing women over 50.  What inspired you to write this book?

Tina Sloane:  I originally got the idea for this book when my parents started getting older.  They didn’t have a clue what to do, and neither did I.  Both my parents had to be placed in an assisted living facility, which was extremely difficult.  And then my dad began taking his frustrations out on me – even though I knew how much he loved me.  I’ve since learned that in this kind of situation, people often turn on their caretakers because they are angry about what’s happening with their own lives. 

But then as I wrote, I became conscious of other issues I was facing at that point in my life like dealing with children who were quickly becoming adults, getting older and diminished attractiveness.  The result was Changing Shoes.

CommitmentNow.com:  In Changing Shoes, shoes become a symbol of how a woman deals with aging.  One friend of yours donates her life’s collection of Guccis and Manolo Blahniks to a local thrift store – a practical decision, which can be viewed as acceptance of aging.  Another friend defiantly, continues to wear high heels into her sixties – a fight against aging. When did you realize that the shoes a woman wears can reflect her news of getting older?

Tina:  I want to keep the twinkle in life – I want to keep feeling frisky.  And I think the idea of changing shoes encompasses your whole life more than a twinkle.  As our lives –and our bodies – change, so do the shoes we wear, and our outlook on life.  When I first started playing the role of Lillian Raines on Guiding Light, I was dressed in a pair of white high heels and a fitted uniform.  By the time the show ended, I was wearing sneakers and modern nurse’s scrubs!  Changes in my life were always accompanied by changes in my shoes:  I wore broken-in black flats when caring for my aging parents; lavender “Cinderella” shoes to seduce my husband; and pink snow boots to hike Mount Kilimanjaro!   I think women of all ages should wear shoes that make them feel beautiful and sexy.

CommitmentNow.com:  When it comes to getting older, is there a middle ground between, resignation and resistance?

Tina:  There is!  I did it by putting on black flats – sexy, but comfortable.

CommitmentNow.com:  What tips do you have for women who, in your words, want to “avoid looking likes a shriveled old coconut without becoming ridiculous or spending a fortune on the latest highly touted secrets of youth?”

Tina:  Wear appropriate clothes and makeup.  Get your hair done, and wear pretty shoes.  You may not be able to wear the same clothes that you wore twenty years ago, but you can still be beautiful and sexy!  For example, most women of a certain age can no longer wear sleeveless shirts.  I know I can’t.  So I wear long sleeve blouses – some of them sheer.  It can be hard to figure out what to wear sometimes, since often, we are not aware that we are aging.  It just creeps up on us.

I describe a scene in Changing Shoes where one day I put on a red bikini that I had been wearing for years.  I thought it was fine, but one look at my son and husband’s faces told me that it was not!  It was hard to hear, but they were correct!  I had passed the age when wearing such a bathing suit was appropriate.  Sometimes it takes a reaction like that to make us face our aging selves.

CommitmentNow.com:  For twenty-six years you starred on Guiding Light, one of the most successful soap operas of all time!  What was it like to age in front of the camera?

Tina:  I honestly didn’t notice it until I started really looking at the younger actresses on the show!  I would see my soap opera daughter – and then my soap opera granddaughter – and then when I looked in the mirror, I would suddenly notice the lines in my face.

CommitmentNow.com:  What happens to romance as we get older?  Does it all disappear?

Tina:  Romance changes drastically as we get older – but it doesn’t have to disappear!  Being with somebody for a long time is a joy – that person knows you so well, which is such a comfort.  For example, when my blood sugar drops, I get irritable.  My husband knows immediately when my blood sugar is too low and gets me something to eat. 

Romance may not be as juicy or explosive as it once was, but there’s a sweetness to it at this point in our lives.  We can’t give up on romance!

CommitmentNow.com:  You state in your book, “I think that every woman, no matter what her profession, gets to a point as she gets older where she needs to make peace with her changing reality and say to herself, - okay, I’ve had my day in the sun,”  Can you elaborate on that?

Tina:  It means admitting that I’m not a twenty year old in a sexy dress.  I encourage women of all ages to stay “forever frisky!”  We can stay in the game forever - but as a sixty year old woman, not a twenty year old one.  It means we have to change our shoes, from high heels to kitten heels.  But it does not mean giving up or giving in!

Tina Sloan played level-headed nurse Lillian Raines from 1983 until the show ended on September 18, 2009. A graduate of the Ursuline School and Manhattanville College, she studied acting with Bob McAndrew and Warren Robertson. She also studied at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. In addition to performing dinner theatre, she has spent time with the Boston Theatre Ensemble and has appeared Off-Broadway.

Tina is a wife and mother, and an avid athlete who has competed in races in Paris, London, Honolulu, and Washington and has run both the New York City and Los Angeles marathons. One of her biggest accomplishments is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in 1987.

She is currently beginning her new life as an author, playwright, and theatrical actress. Tina wants to teach other women how to become the woman they've always wanted to be.

Her book, Changing Shoes has also been made into a show!  For more information on Changing Shoes, visit Tina at www.changingshoes.com or watch her on YouTube. To purchase a copy of Changing Shoes, click here.