Sixty-Eight Year Old Cover Model Valerie Ramsey Shares Her Empty Nest Story
Valerie Ramsey, author of “Gracefully: Looking & Being Your Best At Any Age” talks about how she created a new life for herself after her six children were grown.
Commitment: Once your children were grown, how did you cope with having an "empty nest"?
Valerie Ramsey: I coped with it by reaching out and discovering what my own “What’s Next?” would be!
I enjoyed getting out in the world and knew I wanted to have a career of some sort. The empty nest also occurred just after we had moved out to the Monterey Peninsula on the west coast, and so I went over to the famed Pebble Beach Resorts and got my first job there working in the pro shop with all the college students one summer. It proved to be an excellent first step in learning about the hospitality industry since Pebble Beach is comprised of three hotels, four golf courses, The Spa and 17-Mile Drive.
Commitment: After raising six children, you entered the corporate world at age 53, and then began a modeling career at age 63. Wow! What enabled you to try these new ventures at an age when some people feel there is nothing new left to do?
Valerie: My mother was an excellent role model. She had a fulfilling, glamorous career her entire life and was never afraid to try something new. During my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s I loved being home with my children. Having gone off to boarding school at the age of 7 while my mother traveled all over South America, I grew up with the dream of someday having my own large, loving family.
My husband, Wally, and I enjoyed every moment of raising our children, but all the while, I knew that once we had accomplished that goal, I wanted to move on to something new.
It was my own curiosity about what opportunities might be out there, and what it would be like to have a glamorous career in a beautiful place with interesting people, that drove me to creating the next chapter in my life – entering the corporate world in the field of public relations and hospitality at age 53.
Commitment: What advice do you have for women in their 50s, 60s and beyond who wish to have new adventures and hope some wonderful unexpected things happen in their life?
Valerie: I firmly believe that we are never too old to take on something new – to have a new adventure, master a new skill, or do something we have never done before.
For so many years I was a stay-at-home mom raising our six children, and it wasn’t until I turned 53 that I made the decision to go out and find a career for myself. I knew the basics of what I wanted – I knew I wanted to work in a beautiful environment with interesting people, and that I wanted my job to involve many elements including some travel.
I also knew that there were certain skills I would have to acquire before I could achieve this goal. I started out by working in the pro shop at Pebble Beach Resorts, taking a summer job alongside all the college students, and while I did that, I also went to the local community college to learn how to use a computer.
From there I was able to move into an administrative position in the marketing dept. and on up the ladder until I became the public relations and media manager. Along the way, while overseeing a photo shoot on the golf course, I met a Hollywood producer who encouraged me to become a model, and since it sounded appealing and “right,” I listened to my instincts and went for it.
The same thing happened when my daughter, Heather Hummel, suggested that we write a book together. It had never occurred to me that people might be interested in my story until that moment, but again, because it felt right, and because she was such a good writer and knew the ropes so well, we decided to do it.
So…. Listen to your instincts, do whatever it takes to get your foot in the door, and then continue to grow as you chase after your ultimate goal.
Commitment: Did you ever think you would be a model? If so, did you ever imagine this would become part of your life in your 60s? Tell us about your journey to modeling, and what you enjoy most about being an older model.
Valerie: As for modeling – that was something I hadn’t even thought about since I was 17 or 18, but one day I was out doing a photo shoot for Pebble Beach Resorts when a Hollywood producer insisted on taking some photos. He sent them off to one of the top agencies in San Francisco, and when – amazingly – they called and asked me to sign with them, my only thought was, “Why not?” I was excited about having an opportunity to try something new, particularly something I had never even imagined I might be doing in my 60’s.
It was a challenge – there is so much more to it than meets the eye – but I love it. And what I love most is that it affords me yet one more way to be a role model for women of my generation.
Women seem to feel inspired by what I am doing and are motivated to try something new – no matter what it might be. One thing that never fails to amuse me is that my silver hair has now become my trademark! And I think it has inspired other women to let their hair go natural, too.
Commitment: What is your life philosophy that empowers you to be this dynamic, beautiful woman in her 60s?
Valerie: I believe that we are here on this earth to live life to the fullest and to make the most of every moment of every day. I believe that we should continue to stretch ourselves and grow, enriching our lives and those of Gracefully – Looking & Being Your Best at Any Age: “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”
Commitment: Were you always so confident? If not, how did you become this self-confident woman who presents herself with pride and self-respect?
Valerie: I laugh when I’m asked this question because the answer is No, I was not always this confident. I went through the normal doubts and insecurities that most teen agers do, and a certain amount of shyness continued to follow me into the first few decades of my adult life. It really wasn’t until I went to work in the corporate world and began to move up the ladder to executive assistant and then public relations and media manager that I gained real confidence.
Again, I would like to refer to a quote from the book. It’s by Eleanor Roosevelt. She says, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” I have done this over and over.
Commitment: As you began to get older, what were some of the challenges you faced? How did you meet and overcome these challenges?
Valerie: Well, there was the challenge of seeing if I could go out and have a real career for myself when I’d gotten such a late start at the age of 53! And I met that by first learning how to use a computer so that I could get a job and then by starting with an entry level position, working my way up.
There were some physical challenges with health issues that arose along the way. The first three days in my new PR role at Pebble Beach Resorts, when I had a production crew of 60 that I was responsible for, I broke my foot, sprained my ankle, got diagnosed with uterine cancer, and a heart condition called cardiomyopathy with ventricular tachycardia.
A complete hysterectomy took care of the cancer and a great cardiologist, combined with a modern day drug and an implanted defibrillator have taken care of the heart issues. I am now one hundred percent healthier than I was that first harrowing week! In the process I learned to take better care of myself, particularly with proper nutrition and exercise.
Keeping up my stamina is a challenge I address regularly because although I have a lot of energy, it’s not as if I were in my 20’s any longer.
Commitment: You write about being a positive thinker and putting a positive spin on different situations. Were you always positive? What are some spontaneous positive actions someone reading this interview can start doing today?
Valerie: I think I have always been a pretty positive person although, as with all of us, there have been moments in my life when it’s been more of a challenge to maintain a sunny outlook than at others. However, I learned early on that with every situation, we have a choice as to how we’re going to view something, and it is far better to look at something in a positive light rather than a negative one.
A “Can Do” attitude is the key to thinking positively.
Act on instinct and don’t be afraid to take a risk.
Listen to your intuition. If something feels right, it probably is right.
Choose a positive thought over a negative or a fearful one.
Have confidence, and the more you test yourself and move out. of your comfort zone, the more confident you become.
Replace “I can’t” or “I don’t” with “I can” or “I should.”
Take good care of yourself! If you eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep and exercise, you will feel better – about everything!
You can’t always control events, but you can control how you react to them.
Project a positive energy – even if you’re not particularly feeling it at the time. The more you do this, the more you actually become that person. In other words, “Fake it until you make it!”
Attitude is everything! Be positive!
Commitment: How can looking back at one's life help with today's emotions and goals? What do you do when you want to look back on your life, and review who you were and who you are becoming?
Valerie: Looking back on your life is a great way to move forward. You’ve learned from every experience you’ve had, and the lessons you’ve learned from those experiences will help to build the groundwork for when you’re faced with future decisions. Each decision you’ve made in the past paved the way toward your future. Reflecting on the chances you took and the life experiences you passed up helps you to see what molded you into the person you’ve become.
This is where journaling really becomes such an excellent tool in helping you to not only see where you’ve been, but also to see where you want to go. As we write in Gracefully, “Keeping a journal brings with it so many benefits, one of which is reflection. With each new experience, your mind stretches and never reverts back to its old shape. By reading former journal entries, you’re given a snapshot of your thoughts and actions taken during a particular period in your life.”
Rereading your journal will shed a light on dreams and goals you’ve had in the past, and will help you to formulate future goals and aspirations. There is something very clarifying about putting thoughts and experiences in writing. The very act in itself helps to solidify your thoughts and brings to them a helpful reality.
Commitment: Do you have any words of advice for those in the midst of raising children, as you once were, on how they can enjoy this time in their lives and prepare for a great future also?
Valerie: I remember something Jackie Kennedy once said because I thought she was exactly right. She said that if we don’t do a good job raising our children, nothing else we do matters. Those years race by so quickly that I always encourage moms to relish every moment and to do the very best they can because there is nothing more important and the rewards are endless. However, being immersed in raising your children doesn’t mean that you can’t also be thinking about and preparing for what you would like to do next in your life.
I have always been interested in interior design, and when my children were young, I went to a nearby college and took courses in it. Later when they were in school, I got a job working part-time for an interior designer and had a wonderful time interacting with clients and shopping for beautiful things in New York.
Of course nowadays things have changed so much, and many women don’t have the option or the luxury to stay at home with their children. They are faced with the difficult challenge of maintaining a career and their homes and families simultaneously. I admire and respect their energy and tenacity so much, because I know it can’t be easy and the workload is enormous.
I think it’s a healthy thing to study, to continue to grow in some way that’s meaningful to you, no matter what else is going on in your life. We all need a little mental break from our everyday lives, and it’s important to enrich our spirits along the way. As you are going about your daily tasks, don’t be afraid to let your imagination wander to thoughts of what you to network and educate yourself as you prepare for that future goal.
Valerie Ramsey is a highly sought after model who has graced runways, print ads, and television, modeling for Lexus and St. John’s Knits and appearing on “Today” and “Extra”, among other shows. She is the media and public relations manager for Pebble Beach Resorts, the mother of six, and the grandmother of seven. Valerie resides with her husband, Wally, in California.
Heather Hummel, Valerie’s daughter, is a writer whose work has appeared in “Blue Ridge Anthology” (along with David Baldacci and Rita Dove) and “Messages of Hope and Healing.” Heather is a graduate of the University of Virginia and is an active member of the International Women’s Writing Guild. She lives in Charlottesville, Virginia.
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