The Top 12 Ways To Bring More Gratefulness In Your Life
M.J. Ryan, author of "Attitudes of Gratitude: How To Give and Receive Joy Every Day Of Your Life" shares her tips on how to start noticing what is right in our lives--and how to unlearn the habit of always focusing on what is wrong!
M.J. Ryan, author of “Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life” talks with Commitmentnow.com about the power of gratitude to transform our lives.
The Top 12 Ways to Bring More Gratefulness into Your Life
• Practice daily: A written journal, email to a gratitude partner, when
you’re driving home from work, at dinner with your family, before going
to sleep. The more you create a routine, the easier it will be to
remember.
• Create visual or auditory reminders—a sign, a popup on your computer,
reminders sent to your cell phone (sign up at wellsphere.com).
• Focus on what's right in your life instead of what’s wrong.
• Say "thank you" to others as often as possible.
• Make sure to include yourself. What did you do well today? What are you
thankful to yourself for? The more we appreciate ourselves, the more
our good qualities grow.
• Especially when they’re annoying or frustrating you, remember why you love your spouse, kids, and friends.
• Compare well—when you find yourself envying someone, focus on what you do have that other people don’t.
• Give thanks for your body. What can you appreciate about it right now?
• Have a gratitude rock, a little pebble you carry in your pocket. Every
time you feel it, think of something you are thankful for.
• When difficult things happen, ask yourself: What's right about this?
Yes, it’s awful, but if something were right about it, what would it be?
• Look for the hidden blessings in challenges. How have you grown?
• Imagine that this day is the first and last of your life. How would you treasure it?
Commitment: Why did you become interested in the subject of gratitude?
M.J. Ryan: About a dozen years ago, before any of the current research. I wanted to learn to be happier and noticed that people who were happy were more grateful than me. I started to do a daily practice of noticing what was right and good in my life and sure enough, I got happier!
Commitment: You recommend noticing what is right in our lives. How can we do that?
M.J.: Practice. Noticing what's lacking or painful is a mental habit; so is noticing what's right. It's all there. It's just where we choose to put the flashlight of our attention.
Commitment: What are the benefits of being more grateful?
M.J.: You feel full, aware of all you have so you don't need as much; you feel connected to life and to other people because you recognize that you are interdependent; you feel connected to spirit because you recognize that all you have is a gift; you worry less and take better care of yourself because you are aware of what a precious gift your life is.
Research now shows that being grateful addes 7-9 years to your life, a greater effect than exercising and not smoking. Folks should try it for themselves and see!
Commitment: One of your chapters is entitled, "Gratitude Makes Us Young." Can you explain how gratitude can prevent us from becoming "encrusted, hard, jaded"?
M.J.: Because when we appreciate something we aren't taking it for granted, so we are like young children discovering life for the first time: Yellow, what a color! Tulips, how amazing. Sun, how warm!
Commitment: Is gratitude an antidote to depression?
M.J.: Yes, because when we think positive thoughts like gratitude, we activate the part of our brains that release the feel good hormones, so we get an uplift. Conversely, when we think negative thoughts, we activate the part of our brains that release the stress hormones, which brings us down.
Commitment: How can parents teach their children to have an attitude of gratitude?
M.J.: By asking them what they are thankful for on a daily basis--at the dinner table or before going to sleep. You can say, What's one thing you are thankful for today? and What's one thing you appreciate about yourself today?
Commitment: What are you personally most grateful for?
M.J.: I don't have a ranking system. I am thankful for so very many things--from hot water and cucumbers to meaningful work and the presence of love in my life.
Commitment: Why do we find it easier to be ingrateful than grateful? What is it we learn that teaches us to so easily focus on what is wrong, rather than on what is going well in our lives?
M.J.: Education, media and psychology all focus on what's wrong with us so it's not surprising that we are well versed in our lacks.
Commitment: You write that an attitude of gratitude can counteract perfectionism that comes from a sense of inadequacy. Can you explain this?
M.J.: Gratitude is not an either/or experience. We can't wait for all to be well or we'll be waiting forwever. We need to practice it in the midst of our lives, with all its difficulties and pain. My foot hurts AND I am grateful for the rest of my body working well. When we don't deny our or the world's imperfections but find what we can enjoy and appreciate in the midst of them, we recognize that nothing is perfect, including ourselves, but we can find joy anyway.
To Purchase "Attitudes of Gratitude" click here.
About the Author: M.J. Ryan is a writer, a seeker, and a giver of gratitude. She is the author of several other bestselling books including This Year I Will…, The Happiness Makeover: How to Teach Yourself to Be Happy and Enjoy Every Day, Trusting Yourself: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Live More Happily with Less Effort, A Grateful Heart: Daily Blessings for the Evening Meal from Buddha to the Beatles, Attitudes of Gratitude in Love, The Power of Patience: How to Slow the Rush and Enjoy More Happiness, Success, and Peace of Mind Every Day. She has appeared on The Today Show, CNN, and many radio programs. She is a contributing editor to Good Housekeeping. Ryan also serves as a thinking partner to executives and entrepreneurs. She lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her family.
