Mommyblogging: Meet Tracy Connery, a mother, homeschooler, blogger and photographer in the Canadian Rockies, who calls her blog the inspired family because it is about "designing a life...gratitude..in pictures."
Tracy Connery and her husband decided to quit their jobs, move to the Canadian Rockies, homeschool their three children, and live "day-to-day a life that moves and inspires us." Read about this family's quest to 'take back their lives.'
Nestled in the Canadian Rockies, Tracy Connery, of Fairmont Hot Springs, British Columbia, blogs about her life as a mother, homeschooler, and photographer, in www.theinspiredfamily.com. After years of job dissatisfaction and stress, she and her husband decided to quit their jobs and give up the security of a regular income, as a way to live a more inspired family life. Her blog is a way to record this new chapter in their family's life. "If there's a message to be had, whether for other readers or my
children, I would merely like to impart that creating the life you
want- the life of your dreams- is actually possible. It's hard. It's
messy. It's scary. But it can be done."
Commitment: I love "The inspired family" a blog you call 'designing a life..gratitude..in pictures' can you tell us a little about this? How did you get started?
Tracy Connery: the inspired family came to life in the fall of 2007. It was my foray into the world of 'mommyblogging' and blogging in general. I loved it!
I talked about our days, my work, the kids, I posted images... all the mommyblog stuff. It was great fun.
Unfortunately, in the spring, the site was hacked and various technical issues arose, making even posting just plain onerous, and in frustration I just took the whole thing down. I knew I wasn't done with the inspired family but if I was going to invest time into it, I knew that I just wasn't feeling like getting back in the same mommyblog game.
What came to me arrived as a result of the choices we were making throughout the summer. My husband was about to leave his job in favour of switching gears himself and I was to try to make my work actually viable enough to support us for the first time since we'd had our first of three children.
Essentially, we were about to jump with both feet into the exercise we've playfully coined 'designing a life'. But, given the times, where we live, and what I do- the arts!- there are any number of challenges in making this work!
And so, it was that the inspired family would serve to record this new chapter- rather than just providing a forum to talk curriculum or bitch about Mt. Laundry- it would push me to dig for gratitude and to express myself in a way I had never considered previously, during this unique time in our lives.
The images are big. The writing is lower case, stream of consciousness, offering me fewer barriers to expressing accurately my feelings where, at the end of each day, a time when I am winding down, a little vulnerable and not necessarily filled with things positive, I could take stock, look at what I have and what I am so fortunate to be able to do...
and in an additional creative challenge, see if I could reflect these concepts in corresponding photographs. Some days boring, some poignant, some just plain indulgent.
Some days it's easy... somedays, decidedly NOT!
Commitment: Why did you title your blog 'the inspired family'?
Tracy: In its initial inception, the title the inspired family was tongue in cheek. It continues to be. As with most families, sometimes I actually implement great, even /inspired/, parenting strategies- and they might even work! Other days, holy moly, it all goes sideways!
While I consider the blog title still quite ironic, I suppose it's now in keeping with living of our own design. We are taking chances to strive for fulfillment, satisfaction and /inspiration /in what we do, individually and as a family.
Commitment: What message do you want to share about family life in this wonderful blog?
Tracy: I firmly maintain that this blog is for me, first and foremost, my tool, my strategy, my indulgence in gratitude. I look forward to uploading the whole of it to print to provide us a wonderful reference to this interesting time in our little family history!
If there's a message to be had, whether for other readers or my children, I would merely like to impart that creating the life you want- the life of your dreams- is actually possible. It's hard. It's messy. It's scary. But it can be done.
Consider the college student who goes home one summer and announces to the family that he's not going back to school in favour of setting off to see the world. Well, it's sort of like that except twenty years older with three kids, three cats, a dog and a mortgage.... and instead of seeing the world, we're setting off to live day-to-day a life that moves and inspires us.
Certainly, ditching an income- a lifestyle- is not for everyone. But through this blog, perhaps others may see that there are little things they can do to take back their lives.
The power of gratitude in those littlest of things, in particular. My husband is dumbfounded by how many times I mention my morning cookie! Honestly, my early mornings with coffee and my cookie get me out of bed.
Commitment: Tell us about what has happened over the two
months that is "a leap of faith in determining your own destiny", and
creating a life that runs true to your values? You describe this life change in the post: 'No big wins, just a series of little wonderfuls..a day"
"we are over two months into this leap of faith into determining our own destiny: new, unfamiliar, scary…
committed to making our living in ways that run true to our values and
those things about our life which we deem vitally important… such as
homeschooling our three kids, time with family and fulfilling, life and
creativity affirming endeavors.
during a recession….
it’s a choice of considerable uncertainty. some days are bad. both of
us overwhelmed with what we feel we might not actually be able to
accomplish.
but more and more, as with this wonder of a day, we’re wrapping our
heads and spirits around an attitude of calm. there seems to be an
underlying sense of ‘OK’
taking hold. a feeling that, despite the bouts of fear and anxiety, we’re on the right path.
i’m guessing this is what ‘faith’ feels like.
today… warm kittens in my warm, warm office first thing in the morning(4:30?!?). my freshly painted office.
coffee. my morning cookie.
yoga. yoga. yoga! http://www.mommyom.com
guiding kids in meditation… even better, kids following guided
meditation. a clean kitchen. fresh pumpkin muffins. prime rib burgers.
caesar salad with fresh croutons. the serenity that is november.
and … i booked another gig
http://www.tracyconnery.com for next summer. a neighbor called to offer a bit of work for now.
i chose a peaceful state of mind today. chose and embraced. to everyone’s benefit.
let’s try it again tomorrow, shall we?"
Tracy: We decided after several years of job insecurity and
general job dissatisfaction that now, of all times, was as good as any
to make the leap into true self-employment... but not just any
self-employment. If we were going to give up what security we did have
in a mostly regular income, it had to be with the intention of making
our lives, and that of our family, better for letting it go and better
in the work that we do.
Commitment: What was your life like before?
Tracy: We've been in a mode of "designing our lives" for some time. My husband
has been fairly insistent in working at home for nearly a decade and
has been fortunate with employers who have been pretty ameniable. But
with his last job, a start-up, the company's future was, and continues
to be, uncertain. It always seemed as though it could come to an end at
any time.
In addition to that, as a start-up, the demands, despite the main
office being on the opposite coast in Delaware, were constant. There
were many times I wished my husband worked in an office, as it seemed
that our homelife was becoming infused not only with it's own daily
stresses but also that from the office over 2000 miles away. There were
also months I just wished it would all go under and we'd be free from
all of the B.S.
Commitment: Why did you choose this new path for your family?
Tracy: Finally, with a little bit of preparation- a month or two
of emergency in the bank- my husband took the bull by the horns
himself, instead of waiting for the news that, in fact, they weren't
able to pay him on any given month, of freeing himself from their
uncertainty and stress and embracing our own! We actually thought that
the lesser of the two evils. There was also no question- and still
isn't YET- that he would just slide into a job somewhere else.
Our rationale: the job market is a strange beast right now, even in the
area of I.T. and after his previous years, he wanted to explore other
opportunities. At the same time, where my work has been largely
seasonal and irregular- always considered gravy, really- it was
something I was agreeing to build and develop, sooner rather than
later, to make a regular, considerable contribution to this effort and
to this new direction.
All of this under the seemingly fundamentally naive and sometimes
downright crazy principle that our work had to do more than earn us a
living, it had to inspire us beyond just the paycheque. An interesting
endeavor given the times, I readily admit.
Commitment: How have these changes impacted you and your family?
Tracy: Even with a new set of anxieties, this experience has had a
positive impact thus far. This is such a different stress. Despite
having NO IDEA how things will work from month-to-month, most of the
time we maintain a tremendous sense of control over making sure we're
covered, rather than enduring this external force that had such a
negative influence over our day-to-day lives.
And here, now on month three in this exercise, we /are /working it out.
An additional bonus, it's probably feeling like more of a partnership
than ever... there's a new comraderie in our accomplishments.
We work hard at those things that have meaning to us and with that
intention set, and our efforts consistent, opportunities are making
themselves available to us.
As far as family is concerned, we are conscious of not sharing a whole
lot of the insecurity with the kids, but we joke a lot. My wish for
them as bearing witness to these choices is that they see the power in
taking the reigns in their own lives, whatever that means to them.
Where the bulk of the school responsibility used to fall on my
shoulders, in these last months, it's been nice to take more of a
tag-team approach. Work can get done by each of us and the kids enjoy
two different approaches to their school time.
On the financial front, this experience has brought the hammer down in
terms of our fiscal consciousness. We know where our money is, how much
we have, and given our intent on not increasing debt during this time,
when the money is done. It may come of some surprise, but there's
liberation in this, let me tell you! Again, a sense of reclaiming
control.
Commitment: You wrote in the post 'destination unknown':
"i catch myself wishing there was a way to turn back. but to where,
exactly? the familiar… in all of its cranky, miserable, stressed out
/comfort/? that path is so close to overgrown it’s almost impassable.
we’ve taken the leap… the only direction is forward. wherever that leads us…."
Tell us about the 'cranky, miserable, stressed out comfort' and how you made a leap to get away from this?
Tracy: As I mentioned above, the stress from my husband's last
job was becoming untenable. His working at home brought all of the
inter-office politics, back-biting, frustration, uncertainty, lack of
boundaries, etc., into our home most days of the week, including
weekends and most vacations. It was all access, all the time, and it
was easily not being worth the paycheque.
However, in my dark moments, where I'm feeling particularly vulnerable
to fear, I look back and think /"hmmmm... maybe it wasn't so bad...."/
At least I knew how we were paying the mortgage next month. But those
feelings do pass and I take heart that we're on a better path, even
with the new challenges.
Commitment: Tell us alittle about your work as a photographer.
Tracy: I've been shooting for about twenty years- gack! I began
with my mother's old Minolta and lenses when I was in university. I've
been working professionally since 1995.
I started in the Washington DC area, my husband's hometown. When we
decided to raise and grow our family here in the rural Canadian
Rockies, where I grew up, outside of an occasional portrait or wedding
and shooting wads of film of my own babies, I didn't pursue my business
very aggresively. I got things rolling again in earnest, and in
digital, when my youngest child- daughter- was two... three years ago.
I love weddings. Love, love, love weddings! There is nothing like an
excited bride- and yes, they are all beautiful! Kids, for sure. I find
toddlers are the easiest, surprisingly, as they are the most willing to
believe there is in fact a blinking bunny inside the lens- the
expressions I get as they search for it are priceless!
There's also nothing like being out in the peace of our Rocky Mountain
wilderness... though mountain landscapes can be downright daunting in
their beauty and majesty. I can only admire those photographers that
can truly bring it to life in two dimensions!
Despite my short-comings in this area however, I'm creating and
compiling a collection of my images of local landscapes for a small
book project.
A great picture is a story. Simply that. It speaks. It tells something
about the subject or scene... whether a child, a bride, a tree. It can
be read, and often not in the same way twice!
Commitment: How long has your family been homeschooling? What made
you decide to homeschool your children? What challenges do you face?
Tracy: We are approaching the two year mark homeschooling. We
brought home our then fourth grader who was reading at a second grade
level. Our younger son didn't have any of the difficulties of our
eldest, and flourished in kindergarten, but chose to come home as well.
Our daughter began kindergarten this fall at home and will likely never
set foot in a conventional schoolroom.
It is a choice that works well for us, and the fact that our son is now reading at age-level confirms our decision.
We love it. We love that we've been able to make this choice and it is
also why it's so important that we create a lifestyle that supports it.
Our biggest challenge in homeschooling is probably structure on my
part. I can allow myself to be distracted by any number of things in a
day.
By now the kids know what's expected of them- mostly!- so there isn't a
real struggle in getting them down to work. The difficulty comes in my
committing to a certain degree of structure and consistency each day to
make sure everybody's getting what they need done.
If the day does go kind of everywhere, at the very least we make sure
the kids have ample reading and games, for learning and fun, to keep
them busy and progressing.
Commitment: I enjoyed the passage and pictures from 'joy in leaping... a day." Can you share with us a passage from this?
Tracy: This post began with the images. It was a day where I reconnected with my camera after several weeks break following a busy, busy season. After a gorgeous afternoon with the kids and Bessy- yes, I name my camera!- this image and the post came easy. I was in a great state of mind, feeling strangely empowered in that day and the possibilities.
/the surreal continues though with a focus on the wonders of each day… it becomes something of a game. the excitement of ‘what good things will come today?’/
/and knowing they will./
/less, /‘how are we going to make this work’/, and more, /‘what will i do today to make this work?/‘
For two people who don't subscribe to any particular faith, we are taking a huge leap, trusting that /it/ will all work.
How much of handling these challenges- any challenge- that takes place in one's head is downright unbelievable and choosing to approach each day expecting good things to happen, finding a sense of fun in the uncertainty, beats the alternative! Master the head game, people, and you're off to the races! But, as evidenced in subsequent posts, I'm no master!
Commitment: You write a lot about yoga. What role does yoga play in your family and life?
Tracy: I have taught yoga... but get far more satisfaction out of my own practice and /being /taught, to be quite honest.
Yoga gives me space, grounds and centers me at the beginning of the day. I sandwich my practice between getting a little work done, warming up in my tiny, cozy office and getting everybody into school. I'm a strong believer in the power of meditation and trying to quiet the mind and it's a strategy I've recently added to our schooldays with the kids. I believe they'll thank me later!
Yoga and meditation, along with long walks with my dog, sustain me mentally, physically and spiritually, providing me with a wonderful way to deal with the various stresses of my life. I'm more open. I can feel it through my shoulders, my back, my hips... all those places where we are often bound and carry tension. I'm better at coping on a day in which I've practiced. It certainly doesn't go unnoticed when I haven't!
For anyone who makes a regular routine of practice, they know how easy it is to clench the jaw during postures... and hold your breath. Throughout, you have to remind yourself to /release /and /breathe/... these are words that apply to just about every other aspect of the day.
Commitment: The picture from 'waves.undulation.ebb and flow...a day' is breathtaking. Tell us alittle about how you got that picture, and what you wrote about that day. Here is the blog from that day:
"one moment you think you’ve got everything by the proverbial tail, and the next, well… you don’t.
i couldn’t help but laugh over dishes tonight as i considered either, 1. we’re incredibly daring and adventurous, throwing caution and conformity to the wind in this grand experiment…; or 2. we’re so out to lunch naive it’s positively frigging scary.
but then i stared around my kitchen, the bestest time of day kitchen: dimly lit and freshly cleaned with the reassuring hum of the dishwasher; and rested in knowing that all really is well with our world…
regardless whether ours was one of daring adventure or dumb-ass naivete!
with each lemon-scented breath, it all mattered less and less. because today was just another pretty darn good day, ebbs and all:
as always a good shot of kick ass
http://www.kickinghorsecoffee.com/en tops the days little wonders. my cookie… kid smell, fresh from sleep, especially when it comes with morning hugs.
another butt-early morning… the best. my space heater. my tidy little office, warmed up to sweat lodge proportions. my laptop… with sirius radio.
mountain sunrise welcomed with yoga. yoga. yoga!! http://www.mommyom.com/
finishing school module units. whoot! a gas fireplace in the schoolroom. school actually being done in the schoolroom… with little prodding! funny spelling mistakes.
my urbane and genteel husband’s excitement with today’s accomplishment… his first deer (honestly, it’s like we’re stepping back in time… considering killing one of the neighbouring wild turkeys for american thanksgiving… erk.)
my honey. taking time to walk my honey. her unadultrated joy the moment we started for the door.
my beanie toque. tomato soup and crackers.
warm, sunny november afternoons. stroll with camera on warm, sunny november afternoons. the lake.
booking a gig http://www.tracyconnery.com for the weekend… that actually works with our swim meet schedule.
health. a team. many, many cans in the pantry… oh, and the promise of fresh venison, of course!
This is a picture from a beach in Mexico, near where we own a very little shack close to the water... it's a place that we all love. It's also an image I love that reminds me of 1. this place where we connect, as close to unplugged as we- a family wholly dependent on technology- can get and; 2. the wonder of the flow, when you're in it, but also the importance of the ebb. Yin and yang, so to speak. As much as we love a groove, the busy-ness of productivity and earning, the ebb is essential to taking a breath, gathering needed rest and practicing surrender.
Tracy: I treat every post as a reminder, a reinforcement, to myself... as to what is important in my life. Being without the certainty of steady income is a tough gig and emotions undulate between empowered and confident that /"We can do this"/ and /"What are we, nuts?!? Get a friggin' job- any job. Now!!/"
So, I'm prone to bouts of overwhelm, doubt and pants-peeing fear and this post reflects that. It also, as is the purpose behind the inspired family, brings me back to what I have.
What's great right now... like my freshly cleaned kitchen! That was what was right, and gave me some peace of mind, in my little world in that moment.
Commitment: Tell us about your other blog, MommyOm. What is this blog about?
Tracy: MommyOm began about a year and a half ago to keep me honest, inspiring my practice... but also inspiring me /to/ practice. Another tool, really, that's become really a labour of love.
I so enjoy yoga and meditation and believe in their effectiveness in enhancing health and well-being. Through feedback from readers, and just my own interest, MommyOm took on a more informative tone, yet in my voice... a wife and mother looking for information, trying new things and simply sharing what I love.
Commitment: From reading your blogs, it looks like you are enjoying and creating a beautiful family life. Any advice for our readers, who also may want to live a less stressed, more authentic life?
Tracy: I guess in a word, it comes down to /presence/. But let me say too, without a doubt, presence is hard! Over the last couple of years I've come to a better understanding of the power of gratitude, taking note of those precious little things that happen to us throughout the day- and they absolutely do!!- to keep us moving in the right direction yet being firmly rooted in the now.
Taking stock is a wonderfully meaningful way to encourage a sense of presence, not to mention consciousness in moving through the day, recognizing and noting the /have/, rather than the /have not/.
It isn't about what's to come, or what's been, but what is. Having no money. Not working regularly. Mortgage coming due. These are all thoughts based in fear and worry of what may or may not come to be. Not the present.
Certainly, I can't deny and it's represented in several posts, there are those moments, hours, days where the good stuff is harder to see through the worries, anxieties and fear. But, as with yoga, it's a practice and I am learning to trust that these feelings do, in fact, pass, if I stay the course, remaining committed to what I've claimed it is I want.
While there is no tangible 'point b', we've set goals and intentions for what we want to accomplish right now and in the future and what I've learned is that we've a better chance of seeing them happen keeping our heads up, staying true to what we believe and keeping our feet well grounded in the here and now rather than indulging fear, frustration and acting out of desperation for what /may /be to come.
Right now I have a kitten sleeping on my lap... I'm nursing my first Diet Coke in weeks, the kids are reading and colouring quietly in the next room, I'm warm. I'm optimistic. This is what I choose to focus on, trusting- perhaps even knowing- the rest /will /be taken care of.
Learn more about Tracy Connery at: www.theinspiredfamily.com; www.mommyom.com; www.tracyconnery.com; www.tracyconneryphotography.com; www.photographiczen.com
