Tips on Coping With A Lonely Day
We've all had lonely days. Here's some advice on getting through them.
Regardless of our circumstances in life, we all face lonely days. Whether it is a mother caring for her new baby, a widow coping with the loss of her beloved husband, or a college student adjusting to life away from home, loneliness is something women of all ages face. Here are some tips and thoughts on coping with a lonely day:
• Understand What Loneliness Is and Isn't: What is loneliness? Does being lonely mean that no one loves you or that you are not worth anything? Loneliness means you are feeling alone. Maybe there is no one you can communicate with today, or no one available that gives you that feeling of connection and intimacy we all long for. Loneliness is not usually a permanent state of being. Remind yourself that 'this too shall pass' and loneliness is often a temporary state of being.
• Find A Way to Connect and Share Emotion: Loneliness often stems from not having someone close by you feel connected to, someone you are able to share emotion with. Is there someone you can write, call or e-mail that would allow you a chance to feel connected and give you the time and attention your emotions need?
• Analyze Who In Your Daily Life You Could Connect To: Is there a neighbor who has a similar routine to yours? Someone locally you could walk with before school or work? A member of a mother's group who also feels lonely and would enjoy meeting for coffee once a week? Think about the places you go, your responsibilities, and who matches your life circumstances and who might benefit from a weekly or monthly meeting with you. This might entail going out of your comfort zone and approaching a neighbor walking her baby, or inviting a new workmate out to lunch, but reaching out to those with similar life circumstances could open a new world of relationships and chances for connection. As you go about your life today, ask yourself: who in my area lives a life similar to mine?
• Get Involved In A Project That Involves Teamwork: Find an organization where your time and talents can be utilized. Start a neighborhood mother's group, a grief support club, or a hot chocolate after midnight study group. Find a way to be part of a team, whether it is a local bowling league, basketball team, or quilter's group.
• Ask Yourself: Who Needs My Help and Who Else Might Be Feeling Lonely Today: Reach out and help that person. Call them, write a card, drop by with a gift, invite them out for coffee.
• Enjoy Being With Yourself: Don't discount time alone as a way to re-discover activites you like and parts of yourself you may have forgotten about. Read a new magazine or book, watch a funny movie, write a story, a play, paint, plant some flowers, go the library and explore a topic that has interested you for a long time. Take a walk down Main Street in your town, sit in a coffee shop and people watch, go to the mall and try on clothes you could normally never imagine yourself wearing.
• Exercise. Go for a nice walk outdoors. Join a health club, take a swim class, bicycle, explore a new walking path.
• Bake for Someone: Who doesn't love a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies? Try a new recipe and drop by a friend, co-worker or neighbor's house with a surprise treat.
• Focus On Giving To Someone Who Needs Your Help and Friendship: Sit down and make a list of people who you can help. Is there a neighbor, friend, relative who needs something you are able to offer?
• Plan A Party: When feeling lonely, why not sit down and plan a party. Have a few friends over for brunch, or some neighbors over for an ice cream sundae party. Is there someone you could throw a party for? A relative with an upcoming anniversary, a nephew who recently got engaged, a new neighbor who just moved in and would probably love a welcome-to-the-neighborhood party. It doesn't have to be elaborate, a cake, some drinks, and lots of good conversation.
• Go Somewhere New and Go Often: Visit the local senior citizens center and sign up for a class, try story time at the library, or a poetry reading at a coffee shop. Enter a world you've never entered before and try it. Smile. Stay open. You never know what friends you may find when you open a new door. Go to the same coffee shop each day and begin to form a pattern of seeing the same faces daily.
• Get In Touch With People You Have Lost Touch With: Are there friends or family members you have lost touch with? Why not buy a few cards or postcards and write and get back in touch.
• Join Groups Where You Share Common Beliefs or Have Something in Common: Find groups in your area with people who share a common belief system, value, or have something in common with you.
