Are You As Romantic Today As You Were 10 Years Ago--Or Is the Romantic You Gone and Replaced By Something Different?
Were you romantic once-upon-a-time? Does it seem like forever ago that you saw yourself as a romantic person? Then it is time to revive and reclaim the romantic part of you--and that doesn't mean waiting around for a bouquet of red roses!
Were you romantic once upon a time? Or does it seem like forever ago that you saw yourself as a romantic person? Do you laugh now at the very word ‘romance’—as if it is something for naïve young things just starting out?
If so, then it is time to tap back into the romantic part of you—the part of you that once imagined doing romantic things, living romantically, being romantic, and enjoying romance.
Whether you are single, married, dating or inbetween relationships, living romantically doesn’t have to be off limits to you.
It doesn’t matter if you are a svelte size 4 or an abundant size 18, romance comes in all sizes, and in all types of lives. Don’t let commercials of gorgeous young 20somethings, lighting candles and doning size 2 dresses, make you feel like romance isn’t for a mother of three, or a working woman who puts in 10 hour days, or a stay-at-home Mom who does three loads of dishes a day.
Then, what is romance? How do you get back to that part of you?
Let’s start with a definition. What does the word ‘romantic’ mean to you? The Merriam Webster dictionary defines romance as “marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized, relating to, or having the characteristics of romanticism, having an inclination for romance : responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic, or adventurous: marked by expressions of love or affection c : conducive to or suitable for lovemaking
: of, relating to, or constituting the part of the hero especially in a light comedy.
Okay, so romance is about more than just lighting candles in a sexy dress. It is marked by being heroic. We’ll start with that.
Breast feeding a newborn at 2 o’clock in the morning could be deemed heroic. Picking up your kids from school everyday at 3:05 could be heroic. Listening to all their hurt feelings that happened that day at school once they get in the car definitely takes an act of heroism—and saying the right comforting, but also helpful words, again requires a level of heroism.
Taking the time to phone your mother everyday, just because you know it makes her day, is heroic. Kissing your husband as he runs out the door to work, even though everything is chaotic and you really want to yell him for escaping the morning rush with the kids, is what heroes are made of.
What do you do every day that is heroic? Do you care for grandchildren? Bite your tongue at work so you can keep your job, despite a boss that drives you crazy? Smile kindly and respond patiently to customers that it would be easy to snap at? Cook nice dinners for your family, even when you are super sick of cooking? All heroic acts.
Romance is also defined as ‘marked by expressions of love or affection.” Phoning your best friend because you know she needs to hear from you—a definite mark of expression of love.
Saying thank you to your Mom for just being, well, your mother, also a great romantic gesture.
The point is, romance isn’t just about the him-and-her stuff, which is great too, but it is a way of living and interacting with all the different people in your life.
There is the physical aspect of creating romance—putting a tablecloth on the table on a typical Tuesday evening just because it might make supper time a bit more special for your children.
Romance is not waiting around to receive flowers, or moping because you didn’t get flowers, or lolly-gagging around wishing that someone would call you.
It is taking an active role in creating romantic moments for yourself and your loved ones.
Dare to love yourself enough to make someone else experience a romantic moment— why not your child’s teacher? Or the mail carrier? Or your grumpy co-worker who has nothing nice to say to anyone?
The romantic you is not a sweet victim waiting to be adored. She is a strong, creative, imaginative woman who is able to create something special in not-so-special circumstances.
You are the heroine in this romantic story, and as a heroine, you have some power here.
Ask yourself: what do I consider romantic? How can I create romance in my everyday life, in my situation, considering all the circumstances I have to deal with?
Romance, my dear, is about more than a drawn bubble bath.
Romance is linked to expressing love and affection. It is pouring out something unusual and a bit above the mundane. It is surprising, mysterious, and often seems to spring from nowhere.
True romance does not come from an empty, yearning, wanting place, but from a place full of love, even if that spot has a lot of hurt, there is still love, enough to be passed around.
Romance is something that strays from the ordinary. It can be a strain, a push, a desire that comes from something good and unselfish, rather than a hungry desire for an ego boost.
So if the romantic you that once thought receiving roses was the epitome of romance has been replaced by a woman who sees romance as having the strength to do what is difficult for those she loves or feels compassion towards, then the romantic you is once again alive and well.
